What is this kind of money belt hanging out on me?? Oh, it’s my old belly. What is this white and red code drawn on it? Oh, they’re my sweet stretch marks. Omg, how I hate you!
I took the advice from a friend who had a baby just a couple of months before me: “Don’t look at the mirror!“. It’s just not worthy. So I didn’t. For the first days. But I could feel it was weird. First we are kind of numb down there. Peeing is kind of strange. Poop is something that you will not do for a couple of days. And when you do, it will not be easy. I cried the same amount as I cried during my pushing time when I was trying the vaginal delivery.
After a few days, I finally felt the belly has shrunk. But not everything. 7 weeks later I still have this money belt hanging out. Smaller, but I do. No, nursing did not make me go back to my body. I lost almost half of the weight I gained. But I’m still bigger than I was and none of my pre pregnancy clothes fit me.
I try to think of the stretch marks as my war marks. But they still bother me. I used so many lotion and oils, but when they are suppose to get you, they do. I don’t know if I will ever wear a bikini again. How come a Brazilian who doesn’t wear bikinis? Yeah, that’s me.
I don’t think of the post surgery so hard as people say. If you take the medications, you do not feel pain. And of course, you can’t carry nothing heavier than baby. But I could walk the same way before. Just felt really tired on the first days. Of course, after pushing for 3 hours with no success, it makes sense. My backache from the pregnancy did not go away. It got worse. Again, probably because of the pushing. My stitches, I almost don’t feel them (I can’t even see them under my money belt).
But I felt the difference between my old body 6 weeks later when I decided to go back to exercise. I wasn’t an athlete. Now I’m way far to be. But maybe it’s not just the pregnancy or the delivery method fault. I was sedentary at the end of the pregnancy and after delivery till now. Specially because of my baby’s heart situation. I didn’t go out for weeks. He had lot of colics and I was so afraid to leave him or even bring him outside.
So, I’m trying to go back to exercise. Slowly. My first goal is 15 minutes walk everyday. It’s not just the body, leave baby is also hard for me. But I have been doing it for over a week now. And it’s getting easier. Wish me luck!