Even if you have been waiting for something your whole life, it doesn’t mean you are gonna be ready when it happens. I’m talking about when you become a mother. And when I say “become a mother” I mean the journey that starts when you find out that there is a baby on the way.
I feel a mom since that moment. A Sunday morning in August, when I got the test that I’ve bought weeks before at the Dollar Store just because, I don’t know, actually. I was feeling different in some way, but I thought would be another negative one. So many years having PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) has made me think I was pregnant a lot of times. And I wasn’t. But this time, before the 3 minutes was done, I took a look and for my surprise, it was already saying that I was pregnant. I almost fell off in the toilet. I couldn’t believe it, and I don’t even know how to explain for myself everything that I thought in that moment. The first reaction was shock and the second, believe me, was recording a video for the baby of me going to tell dad what just has happened.
Looks like I was ready because I had the reaction of recording that moment. But no. That’s just something that I’ve been doing since a long time ago. Recording videos to my children. I just want them to know who I was before be their mother. Before the boring and bad person that says “no” sometimes. I want to be a kind of mom that they trust, they see as a friend, but at the same time teach them to be good, to have boundaries, to change the world.
See. That’s why I consider myself a mom since that moment. Because that kind of concern about what kind of mom I wanna be and what kind of people my children will be, it looked like something so far in the future. And in just 3 minutes it became REAL. In less than a year my life would change FOREVER. That’s for sure. These thoughts about everything get stuck in our minds in a way we can’t predict. Before, it was just a speculation, an assumption. Now it’s happening.