These last couple of days, my baby has been so needy and he is learning to cry out loud when he wants mommy, daddy, an specific toy or go somewhere we said “no”. May be separation anxiety or slyness or a little bit of both.
Today he is turning 11 months. I just put him down for his first nap of the day and after about 30 minutes he woke up crying. So I went there and holded him until he fell asleep again.
When he finally closed his eyes and went to a deep sleep state, I caught myself looking at him and thanking God for such a perfect baby. I prayed for him to be always healthy and never need any life threatening surgery in his life again. I prayed for me to be a good mother. And everyone around him to be good too: good father, good grandparents, good godparents, good cousins, good uncles, good friends.
But at the same time I asked God to help me to teach him how to deal with frustration. I don’t want to spoil him – too much. And raise him inside of a bubble making him unprepared for adult life where everyone isn’t good. And I also prayed for him to be a good person. Someone who knows how to respect others. To be kind, strong, smart and sweet, all at the same time.
Then I realize my eyes were full of tears. Tears of joy, tears of faith, tears of hope, tears of love. I let them come down. And I felt a happiness. He brought me fulfillment. And I feel it every time I look at him or even think about him. And that’s motherhood, it’s about giving up things but also about having a purpose. Those magic tears made me remember it.