Postpartum feelings – Day 1

I never felt so exhausted in my whole life. After a long try of a vaginal delivery, I had a unplanned C-section. I wanted to be all day holding and looking at my baby, but I just couldn’t even keep my eyes open or even my head upright. But I had to.

The biggest feeling that I had right after delivery – actually during the C-section – was frustration. I did not prepare me psychologically for a unplanned C-section. And after feeling contractions for hours, the pressure to push – which also, for me, hurts real bad, and push for 3 hours, it just didn’t make sense.

When they got the baby out, I was relieved. I thought I wasn’t gonna feel happy. I was feeling outside me, so weird and shaking so much because of the anesthesia. But when they brought him to see me before go to the CICU, so tiny, I’m sure he recognized me. I found happiness on that little thing. He curved his head towards me and touched my face. It melted my heart and made me have the amount of fuel that I needed to go through the rest of the day. Continue reading “Postpartum feelings – Day 1”

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My dear baby bump

I know some women don’t like to be pregnant. Of course, there is a lot of odds. Specially on the end. I had bad backaches, leg cramps, stretch marks, fadigue. And got really big! But now, 7 weeks after baby, I’m already missing my pregnant belly. You know why? Because, when you’re pregnant, it’s all about you.

People stop you to ask your due date. They bring you food. They say you need to rest. They do certain things for you like carrying shopping bags. They say you look good. And actually, at some point before the end, we do look good! The second trimester bring us some energy and a good looking appearance. My hair and my finger nails were nicer. And that cute round belly showing up was fun!! You get spoiled, and you get used to it. Continue reading “My dear baby bump”

Baby Blues

I heard about the baby blues. But I did not believe in it. I mean, I knew I already love this baby even before he was born, why would I feel sad or whatever when he arrives? Sensitive maybe. But sad, alone, depressed, regret?

I thought it just happens when people has a totally unplanned pregnancy or nobody to help or something like that. But it’s not just about the circumstances of your life – it can probably make everything worse. BUT the hormones change everything, of course. You have been feeling it during the pregnancy. Then there is the sleepless. OMG, how I miss a 3 hour sleep. No sleeping makes everything harder. However, what scared me the most was the responsibility that now I carry for the rest of my life. It will look like a burden. Continue reading “Baby Blues”