You may never be yourself again

Some woman may face all consequences, others only some of them. But the truth is: becoming a mom ain’t easy.

You may gain a lot of weight. You may get stretch marks on your belly, breasts, hips, legs. You may lose your waist. You may get back problems. Your sciatica may get painful during and after pregnancy. You may suffer to breastfeed and have cracked nipples. Or engorged breasts. Mastitis. Inverted nipples. Or not have enough milk.

You may go through the baby blues. You may be sleep deprived for a couple of days, weeks or for some of us – for months. Then when baby finally can sleep more uninterrupted time, you may have insomnia. You may have postpartum depression (which is a biological risk and really possible in this scenario). You may feel cranky. Inexplicably exhaustion. Fatigue. No energy at all. Continue reading “You may never be yourself again”

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Postpartum feelings – Day 1

I never felt so exhausted in my whole life. After a long try of a vaginal delivery, I had a unplanned C-section. I wanted to be all day holding and looking at my baby, but I just couldn’t even keep my eyes open or even my head upright. But I had to.

The biggest feeling that I had right after delivery – actually during the C-section – was frustration. I did not prepare me psychologically for a unplanned C-section. And after feeling contractions for hours, the pressure to push – which also, for me, hurts real bad, and push for 3 hours, it just didn’t make sense.

When they got the baby out, I was relieved. I thought I wasn’t gonna feel happy. I was feeling outside me, so weird and shaking so much because of the anesthesia. But when they brought him to see me before go to the CICU, so tiny, I’m sure he recognized me. I found happiness on that little thing. He curved his head towards me and touched my face. It melted my heart and made me have the amount of fuel that I needed to go through the rest of the day. Continue reading “Postpartum feelings – Day 1”

Baby Blues

I heard about the baby blues. But I did not believe in it. I mean, I knew I already love this baby even before he was born, why would I feel sad or whatever when he arrives? Sensitive maybe. But sad, alone, depressed, regret?

I thought it just happens when people has a totally unplanned pregnancy or nobody to help or something like that. But it’s not just about the circumstances of your life – it can probably make everything worse. BUT the hormones change everything, of course. You have been feeling it during the pregnancy. Then there is the sleepless. OMG, how I miss a 3 hour sleep. No sleeping makes everything harder. However, what scared me the most was the responsibility that now I carry for the rest of my life. It will look like a burden. Continue reading “Baby Blues”