Postpartum feelings – Day 1

I never felt so exhausted in my whole life. After a long try of a vaginal delivery, I had a unplanned C-section. I wanted to be all day holding and looking at my baby, but I just couldn’t even keep my eyes open or even my head upright. But I had to.

The biggest feeling that I had right after delivery – actually during the C-section – was frustration. I did not prepare me psychologically for a unplanned C-section. And after feeling contractions for hours, the pressure to push – which also, for me, hurts real bad, and push for 3 hours, it just didn’t make sense.

When they got the baby out, I was relieved. I thought I wasn’t gonna feel happy. I was feeling outside me, so weird and shaking so much because of the anesthesia. But when they brought him to see me before go to the CICU, so tiny, I’m sure he recognized me. I found happiness on that little thing. He curved his head towards me and touched my face. It melted my heart and made me have the amount of fuel that I needed to go through the rest of the day. Continue reading “Postpartum feelings – Day 1”

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