Even if you have been waiting for something your whole life, it doesn’t mean you are gonna be ready when it happens. I’m talking about when you become a mother. And when I say “become a mother” I mean the journey that starts when you find out that there is a baby on the way.
I feel a mom since that moment. A Sunday morning in August, when I got the test that I’ve bought weeks before at the Dollar Store just because, I don’t know, actually. I was feeling different in some way, but I thought would be another negative one. So many years having PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) has made me think I was pregnant a lot of times. And I wasn’t. But this time, before the 3 minutes was done, I took a look and for my surprise, it was already saying that I was pregnant. I almost fell off in the toilet. I couldn’t believe it, and I don’t even know how to explain for myself everything that I thought in that moment. The first reaction was shock and the second, believe me, was recording a video for the baby of me going to tell dad what just has happened.
Looks like I was ready because I had the reaction of recording that moment. But no. That’s just something that I’ve been doing since a long time ago. Recording videos to my children. I just want them to know who I was before be their mother. Before the boring and bad person that says “no” sometimes. I want to be a kind of mom that they trust, they see as a friend, but at the same time teach them to be good, to have boundaries, to change the world.
See. That’s why I consider myself a mom since that moment. Because that kind of concern about what kind of mom I wanna be and what kind of people my children will be, it looked like something so far in the future. And in just 3 minutes it became REAL. In less than a year my life would change FOREVER. That’s for sure. These thoughts about everything get stuck in our minds in a way we can’t predict. Before, it was just a speculation, an assumption. Now it’s happening.
After becoming a Mom I realize that there is no such thing as being ready for it. I knew it would be hard. But it is harder than I thought. And there is a rewarding feeling that makes the burden feeling go away. It’s the biggest paradox I have ever felt in my life!
It may be different in each case. Some babies cry more than others, sleep more, have no colics, feed faster, wait more between the feedings. But every mom/dad has her/his own challenges. And even though it sounds cliche to say, I gotta say: I would do it all over again!
So the thing is, you can’t be really ready for all of that. However, when you decide to be a parent, even if it wasn’t planned, you will be ready on the way. You will figure out what’s best for your family as you go. You will make mistakes, then you’ll learn from them. All you need is patient and love!
Some woman may face all consequences, others only some of them. But the truth is: becoming a mom ain’t easy.
You may gain a lot of weight. You may get stretch marks on your belly, breasts, hips, legs. You may lose your waist. You may get back problems. Your sciatica may get painful during and after pregnancy. You may suffer to breastfeed and have cracked nipples. Or engorged breasts. Mastitis. Inverted nipples. Or not have enough milk.
You may go through the baby blues. You may be sleep deprived for a couple of days, weeks or for some of us – for months. Then when baby finally can sleep more uninterrupted time, you may have insomnia. You may have postpartum depression (which is a biological risk and really possible in this scenario). You may feel cranky. Inexplicably exhaustion. Fatigue. No energy at all. Continue reading “You may never be yourself again”
I never felt so exhausted in my whole life. After a long try of a vaginal delivery, I had a unplanned C-section. I wanted to be all day holding and looking at my baby, but I just couldn’t even keep my eyes open or even my head upright. But I had to.
The biggest feeling that I had right after delivery – actually during the C-section – was frustration. I did not prepare me psychologically for a unplanned C-section. And after feeling contractions for hours, the pressure to push – which also, for me, hurts real bad, and push for 3 hours, it just didn’t make sense.
When they got the baby out, I was relieved. I thought I wasn’t gonna feel happy. I was feeling outside me, so weird and shaking so much because of the anesthesia. But when they brought him to see me before go to the CICU, so tiny, I’m sure he recognized me. I found happiness on that little thing. He curved his head towards me and touched my face. It melted my heart and made me have the amount of fuel that I needed to go through the rest of the day. Continue reading “Postpartum feelings – Day 1”
I know some women don’t like to be pregnant. Of course, there is a lot of odds. Specially on the end. I had bad backaches, leg cramps, stretch marks, fadigue. And got really big! But now, 7 weeks after baby, I’m already missing my pregnant belly. You know why? Because, when you’re pregnant, it’s all about you.
People stop you to ask your due date. They bring you food. They say you need to rest. They do certain things for you like carrying shopping bags. They say you look good. And actually, at some point before the end, we do look good! The second trimester bring us some energy and a good looking appearance. My hair and my finger nails were nicer. And that cute round belly showing up was fun!! You get spoiled, and you get used to it. Continue reading “My dear baby bump”